Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Another AF = Officially TTC

This was the first month since our miscarriage that I honestly thought I might be pregnant again.  I've experienced a few minor bouts of queasiness over the past couple weeks along with a couple odd twinges in my abdominal area.  I hoped those were signs of fertilization and implantation, but, alas, good old Aunt Flo came for her monthly visit.

As if getting AF isn't annoying enough, this month's was abnormally painful and heavy.  I know that's typical for the first AF after a miscarriage, but this is my third AF, and it was much worse than my second {and maybe even my first, too}.  Which of course had me Googling and then wondering after reading random web posts whether I could have experienced a chemical pregnancy.  Apparently the bleeding from a chemical pregnancy can often be accompanied by more cramps than usual.  What I've come to realize though, if not accept, over the past several months is that there are some questions I will never have answers to.  In this case, I didn't take an early pregnancy test so there is no way to know for sure whether I could have experienced a chemical pregnancy or whether I just plain got unlucky with AF this month.

Regardless, I guess we're officially now in the bucket of couples who are "TTC", or trying to conceive.  I don't know why I dislike that expression so much.  I think it's because the very terminology implies that while we're "trying" we're really failing {or else we'd be pregnant}.  I might as well say we're "FTC".

Hopefully next month brings better results...  But knowing that the odds of getting {and staying} pregnant quickly aren't really on our side makes it hard.
  • According to this UCSF Medical Center, "In nature, 50 percent of all fertilized eggs are lost before a woman's missed menses."  In a study referenced on this miscarriage site, "in a study that found that 22% of all natural conceptions fail to complete implantation, it was also found that 31% of pregnancies confirmed after implantation end in miscarriage."  Those are not great chances.
  • According to this Baby Center post, of all couples trying to conceive, approximately:
  • 30 percent get pregnant the first cycle (about one month) 
  • 59 percent get pregnant within three cycles (about three months) 
  • 80 percent get pregnant within six cycles (about six months) 
  • This trend continues and by about four years, 93 to 95 percent get pregnant.  
I am bursting with disappointment and impatience after one month...  I can't imagine going through this for many months or, gulp, years without losing my mind.
Though the statistics can be a bit daunting to say the least, at this point we absolutely need to remain optimistic.  So, here's a cartoon to lighten the mood:


  1. Sorry to hear that this month was a bust for you...I'm sure that is so frustrating. Maybe your body is just really taking it's sweet time to get back on track. It's so crazy, but before my miscarriage, I had no idea about the stats you mentioned above. With stats like that, it's really a miracle that anyone conceives! I never really considered what a feat it is to actually get pregnant. I really hope that month two is a success for you.

    BTW, I also hate the term "trying to conceive"...not so much from the failure standpoint, but mostly because I'm not comfortable with my family and friends being aware of the fact that we're actually "trying"! I don't want them to think about us "trying", because then it makes me realize that they are acutely aware of our sex life! Hahaha! I know that sounds ridiculous (especially after 10 years of marriage), but it just makes me uncomfortable to think about :)

    My husband and I have not started "trying" yet, but we've decided to just be relaxed and not put any pressure on each other about it. (I say this now, but if I'm not pregnant in a couple months, I may be singing a different tune). But, I have a tendency to fixate and over-analyze things to death, so I'm making an effort to just chill out and go with the flow for now so I don't drive myself insane. I just have to keep reminding myself of that....

    Stay strong and hang in there!

    1. Those stats ARE crazy, right?! I feel the same way... it must have been some miracle for all the stars to align nearly perfectly for our first pregnancy so I'm hoping that happens again and we can get, and stay, pregnant again. I could not agree with you more about being weirded out by knowing our families know we are "trying"! Despite 4+ years of marriage for us I would NEVER use that phrase in real life -- I only use it from the safety of the internet with other ladies in the same boat! ;)

      Your approach sounds smart to me... It's basically what we are doing too, and what my GYN referred to as "willy nilly", ha! But that's how we got pregnant in the first place so I'm hoping it will work again. Really hoping hard, BC I'm scared to have to go down the more medical/involved route of charting and all the other fun stuff for the same reasons you mentioned.

      Thanks so much for reading and for commenting! I hope things work out for you soon as well!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...