Thursday, August 15, 2013

Not Broken

Have you ever instantly become drawn to a song, without knowing why?  When I first heard Pink's "Just Give Me A Reason" I involuntarily began crying as I listened to the lyrics.  The song is about a couple going through a hard time in their relationship, convincing one another to hold on and give it another try.  Does this apply to my marriage at the moment?  Absolutely not {thankfully}.  Then why was I so immediately smitten??  The tune is catchy for sure, but so are a lot of songs I don't feel such an emotional connection to.

The lyrics speak to me in a different way...about our miscarriage.  This experience has been so hard -- more physically and emotionally difficult than anything else I've been through.  At times during our miscarriage I wasn't sure I could, or wanted to, hold it together.  But the truth is, we're not broken.  We still have one another.  We still have our love, and our marriage.  Together we can, and will, one day try again.  Shortly after our miscarriage I often thought about whether I would always be too scared or too weak to ever try again, or whether our first pregnancy experience would forever taint any future ideas or dreams about starting a family.  I was already so in love with our little one, even though I'd never even seen more of him or her than a blurry sonogram photo.  Losing our first baby was so much to bear, and although I am sure the pain will continue to lessen over time, I don't think it will ever completely disappear.  But now that a couple months have passed, I've realized it's like the song says -- we're not broken, just bent.  And we can learn to love again.

Now every time I hear this song, I feel a little bit of hope.

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh, oh, that we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again


  1. Absolutely beautiful AND true. Your love will grow for another little one. I felt the same way you did and am not shocked when I'm only 4 1/2 weeks pregnant and already feel so in love with this little life. Praying you get your take home baby so soon.
    Thanks for the well-wishes by the way :-)


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