Thursday, June 20, 2013


{originally written June 20, 2013}

I'm doing better physically and somewhat mentally too {no more crying attacks on a daily basis}, but really still very confused, angry, and most of all very sad.  Yesterday would've been 13 weeks, and I can't help thinking about who I'd be sharing the good news with, how I'd be shopping for maternity clothes, growing a noticeable belly, discussing name ideas...

I went for my follow-up yesterday and supposedly everything was okay, which I guess is good {though I'm not sure how she even knew that by a simple 3-minute cervical exam with no ultrasound...} but to be honest I keep hoping this is all a bad nightmare and I'll wake up one morning and be pregnant again.

I know in my head I am living the nightmare, but really truly wish it was the other way around.  I honestly would not wish this experience on my worst enemy.

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