Thursday, June 13, 2013


OK train monitor horoscopes, you're driving me mad.  First you rub it in my face that I can travel anywhere I'd like, thanks to not having a baby on board.  Then 2 days later you tell me to "Press the pause button on any travel plans you've been making. Things may change."

For a minute, I wondered if there could be some mistake.  Could I still be pregnant?  Is it possible that all that bleeding wasn't a miscarriage at all?  Even if that were true (which I know in my head is not true but did briefly hope in my heart is possible), there was the MVA.

But why else would I have to press the pause button on travel plans???  Does this mean perhaps I might become pregnant again, soon?  Or maybe it means I'll have another miscarriage.  Or will I need fertility treatments?!  The truth is, nobody knows.

Here's a better question:  why am I even stressing about the myriad of possible circumstances that could cause me to cancel travel plans, because of a stupid train monitor horoscope????  I don't think these types of thought patterns are normal.  Am I losing my mind, or is this part of the normal grieving process?  Oh how I wish I could just rewind the clock a month, and be pregnant and happy again...  Will that ever happen?

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