31 Weeks Young!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

December 25, 2014

Guess who finally started to cut her second tooth just in the nick of time for Christmas!  We didn't know it was the culprit at the time, but her new tooth kept waking Little Miss Emily up almost hourly the night before Christmas Eve, who in turn shared the fun with her loving parents!  I'm not kidding -- she slept from 8-8:45pm, 9-10pm, 10-11:20pm, 11:50p-1:20a, 1:30-3am, 3:25-3:40am, 4-7:30am, and then 7:45-8am.  We obviously knew something was up with so many wake-up-and-cry sessions, but it wasn't until Wednesday morning that I felt the tips of that tooth finally cutting through.  Needless to say, Mommy and Daddy were pretty tired when it was time to get up and get packed on the 24th.  But, we somehow managed to pull ourselves together and make the 2 hour drive north to my aunt's house. We didn't get there until after 3 pm, but better late than never!  ;)  An early Christmas present from Emily to us is that she slept for well over an hour in the car on the way there!  It wasn't all at once -- she woke up twice and then fell back asleep a few minutes later -- but that is absolutely the most she's ever slept in a 2 hour period, and by far the most she's slept in the car!  After such a rough night, that was a pleasant car surprise!  She slept pretty well at Aunt Barbara's house too... woke up her typical 2x a night to nurse, but that was much better than she was doing the prior few days at home!

Emily also figured out this week how to bend her wrist and make a waving motion with her hand.  So far, she mostly does it while holding a toy.  She keeps practicing and practicing and practicing over and over and over again!!!  It's all just so exciting that those little fingers and chubby little wrist can bend and move!  ;)

And just in case a new tooth and new found hand control aren't enough, Emily reallllllllly wants to stand up independently.  The drive this girl has is incredible {and exhausting}, and very advanced for her age!

As for Christmas, she didn't pay as much attention to the Christmas tree or the gifts as I thought she would, though OF COURSE she tried to eat the presents, wrapping paper and ribbons!  She did really like her new toys though!!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Missing Our Baby

December 25th was the due date of our first baby, making this Christmas emotionally difficult for me.  I know I should be happy that we're currently pregnant again and have a new due date to look forward to, and I absolutely am -- but that doesn't erase the great sadness I still feel, thinking of our baby that was never meant to be and wishing instead that we were about to welcome him or her into the world.  When the doctors first calculated my due date as December 25th I was ecstatic that of all the days in the year our due date was Christmas Day!  I couldn't believe our luck, and couldn't possible have imagined or asked for a more perfect day to look toward.  Over and over I thought to myself what a true gift of love that baby would be!

Hearing Christmas carols on the radio and hanging stockings up by our fireplace brought back a lot of the feelings I felt back when I first miscarried and realized I'd never meet our first baby, and it's been a bit harder than I thought it would be to get into the Christmas spirit this year.  While I know I have so much to be grateful for in my life -- certainly more than I could even list on a blog -- some days it's hard not to focus on what we lost with that pregnancy.  Needless to say, this Christmas has been bittersweet... celebrating a new pregnancy while still mourning my first pregnancy. 

It might seem strange to miss a person I've never met, but I do.  I really do.  Especially during the past few weeks, when I'd once imagined I'd be preparing to meet my baby or possibly even have gotten the chance to snuggle him or her first the first time.

I wish all of you a Merry Christmas, and send lots of hugs to everyone out there missing a loved one.  The holidays can be merry and bright, but they can also be hard when you're missing the ones you love.

"Miss You Most (At Christmas Time)"

The fire is burning

The room's all aglow

Outside the December wind blows

Away in the distance

The carolers sing in the snow

Everybody's laughing

The world is celebrating

And everyone's so happy

Except for me tonight

Because... 

[Chorus:]

I miss you

Most at Christmas time

And I can't get you

Get you off my mind

Every other season comes along

And I'm all right

But then I miss you

Most at Christmas time

I gaze out the window

This cold winters' night

At all of the twinkling lights

Alone in the darkness

Remembering when you were mine

Everybody's smiling

The whole world is rejoicing

And everyone's embracing

Except for you and I

Baby...

Too Good to Be True

Source

I remember the moment I read in one of my pregnancy books that an estimated 25% of women don't get morning sickness while pregnant.  Most women would be thrilled to find themselves in that category, but I distinctly remember feeling uneasy upon reading that statistic.

You see, I just don't have good luck.  It could be the 2 mirrors I broke while moving into Manhattan 7.5 years ago; it may very well be something else.  But whatever the reason, luck is generally not on my side.  If 25% of women don't get morning sickness, that means 75% do, and those kinds of odds are rarely in my favor.  Nevertheless, I don't consider myself overly superstitious, so I tried not to focus on that fact too much and instead hoped for once I was on the right side of the odds.  But, there were several other reasons I feared this pregnancy seemed too good, or at minimum, too easy, to be true:

• We got pregnant on our second try.  I know some women struggle for months and some for many years to conceive.  For as long as I can remember, even back to my teenage years, I've always had a deep-seated fear that I'd be unable to get pregnant.  To learn we got pregnant so quickly was very surprising to me after so many years of worrying.
• Our baby's estimated due date was the 25th.  Not only is my birthday the 25th, but so is my mom's.  I know babies are rarely born on their due date, but the potential for this happening was pretty neat.
• And not just any 25th... our baby was due on December 25th.  Christmas Day.  I can't think of a more beautiful way to celebrate Christmas than to welcome a new baby of our own into our lives.  I've always loved Christmas {and not just because of the presents!} and it's always been a very big tradition in my family for many extended relatives to gather from near and far.  The news that our baby was expected at Christmastime made the experience all the more magical for both my husband and I.  We were absolutely delighted to learn we were pregnant, and over the moon with excitement when we calculated our due date.  I went to numerous different web sites, repeatedly filling in dates, to be sure it was true!
• We pulled off two YouTube-worthy surprise family reveals.  Our moms both live about 1.5 hours away {in different directions} and we successfully orchestrated the biggest Mother's Day surprise by inviting them both over for brunch, and then presenting them with matching "grandma to-be" t-shirts while recording their priceless reactions.  And, they didn't suspect a thing.  It was such a fun and memorable surprise, and the timing was perfect because we'd just had our first ultrasound 4 days earlier, so even had photos on hand to insert into their cards.  We even got a baby bottle of bourbon for my brother, so the new uncle-to-be wouldn't feel left out.  Then, a few weeks later, we surprised my aunt, uncle, cousin and 91 year old grandmother who live 7 hours away during what they thought was an experimental laptop video-conferencing for my job.  I prepared and sent via FedEx to my aunt four sealed envelopes, each containing a piece of paper with one of the letters B, A, B, Y.  They opened the envelopes simultaneously and put the clue together while we silently watched from our laptop.  We captured their wonderful reactions on video through the wonders of modern technology, and were so excited to be able to tell them our wonderful news "face to face", even though we couldn't do so in person.  This may not sound like a big deal, but it meant everything to me.  As I mentioned, my grandma is 91 years old.  She is the brightest light in my life and I felt so honored to tell her that she was going to become a great-grandma.  Her reaction was absolutely priceless.

I know these things all probably seem pretty petty, especially as compared to the incredibly serious and solemn occurrence of a miscarriage.  But at the time, these small details magnified the excitement of experiencing our first pregnancy beyond anything we could have imagined.  Everything just came together o perfectly.  Unfortunately, it turned out to be too perfect.  It was too good to be true.

April 21st

Hubby and I just took a pregnancy test and it’s POSITIVE!!!! Of course, I had to snap some photos of his face, my face and the test right away for posterity.  :)  I was pretty convinced we were pregnant because my period is over a week late, and I think I experienced what’s known as “implantation bleeding” last week, but for some reason I was afraid to look at the stick once the results were done! So, Hubby and I held hands and as I flipped it over, he looked first while my eyes were closed.  I asked him what the result was and he didn’t say anything for what seemed like an eternity!!  I asked “what does it say?!” for the 3rd or 4th time and he finally replied: “Congratulations, Mama!”.

Of course, I started to cry. I’m sure hormones had nothing to do with that.  ;)  WOW.  We’re pregnant!!!!   Even though I was pretty sure before we took the test, I can’t believe it!

source

Your baby's the size of a poppyseed!

At week four, your baby, now known as a blastocyst, is practically microscopic -- a teeny ball of cells. She's busy settling into her new home (your uterus), prepping for all the crucial development she'll be doing over the next six weeks.

The ball of cells is splitting into the embryo (your future child) and placenta. Baby's neural tube, the building block of his spine, brain and backbone, is already formed. The amniotic sac and fluid are forming into protective cushioning for your baby.

 

at 4 weeks

- The ball of cells is splitting into the embryo (your future child) and placenta.

- Baby's neural tube, the building block of his spine, brain and backbone, is already formed.

- The amniotic sac and fluid are forming into protective cushioning for your baby.

I’m excited and nervous all rolled into one.  I love Hubby so much and first and foremost am so happy to be taking this journey with him.

Using an online tool, we calculated my due date as December 25th!  A healthy baby couldn’t be a more perfect Christmas gift if you ask me.

Now there is so much to think about!!!!  I need an OB, a hospital, an announcement plan..... I’m overwhelmed!  I better start researching OB doctors stat!!

Hubby went to the grocery store while I stayed home researching like a maniac.  When he got home, he announced that he’d bought me a gift and very sweetly presented me with a yellow baby beanie cap.  He explained that he wanted to be sure he was the first one to buy me something.  So cute!!!  Am I lucky or what?!

***

I signed up for a few different websites and began my “to do list” on The Bump:


Being that I’m always late, it figures I’m already behind on a few items even though I just got started!  Although technically I have until Wednesday, which starts my 5th week!  :)