Genetic Counseling

Since Tuesday's phone call, I've been trying to wrap my head around the idea of genetic counseling and testing.  Of course one of the first things I did after speaking with my husband is turn to a trusted online support group for help and information.  Luckily, I received some very good responses that helped me to stop assuming only worst-case scenarios (even if only momentarily), so I thought I'd share some of this helpful and wise advice:

Counseling

• Seeing a genetic counselor isn't the same as needing genetic testing. It's just talking with someone who knows more about this sort of thing than our OB, and can answer exactly the kinds of questions we have: What exactly was the genetic error in this case? How likely is it to happen again? What are the statistics for it being a random error? Should my husband and I be tested? 
• My OB might be required to send us to genetic counselor because we did tissue sample analysis of the miscarriage product and came back with a result indicating this abnormality.  (It may not necessarily be because we are in some path for persistent genetic defect.)
• Seeing a genetic counselor can be a good, reassuring experience because they can put things into perspective. (Seeing one doesn't always have to be a bad thing.)
• The genetic counselor will have had extensive training both in genetics and probability to really explain what is happening. There is a lot of genetics information on the internet but just enough to get one to the "shoulder of knowledge" where you know enough to scare yourself but not enough to fully understand the situation.
• Genetic counseling is not something to be afraid of.  Most doctors really do not know very much about genetics and genetic issues, but genetic counselors do!

Testing

• We'll need to decide if the information from the test would be useful to us. If we'd rather not know, or if we wouldn't do anything different based on the test results, then we might not want to get tested. If we would do something different, or if having the knowledge would help us even if we don't change any plans or actions, then we should get the testing done.
• With a translocation, it could be that the mutation happened in the embryo, or it could be that me or my husband have the mutation as well. Genetic testing can tell us which of those is the case.  If it turns out that neither of us has a translocation, then our odds are pretty much the same as average and we can proceed with future conceptions without a cloud of dread hanging over our heads.
• If the mutation did come from one of us, then any particular embryo could have about a 50-80% chance of having either too much or not enough genetic material. We'd still have a shot at a healthy pregnancy conceived on our own, but our risk of miscarriage or chromosome problems would be high. So, depending on the results of the genetic testing, we might decide to get IVF with pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, in order to attempt only getting implanted with embryos with good chromosomes. This would reduce any future miscarriage risk (but of course IVF has its own drawbacks).
• Just because we don't know of any inherited chromosomal abnormalities in our families doesn't mean they don't exist. The only way to know is to test, and knowing means that if we want to do prenatal testing for a future pregnancy we will know what to ask them to look for. (CVS/amnio does not test for "all" issues; only a handful of common ones are routinely tested unless there is reason to ask for specific additional testing.)

Bottom Line:  Step away from the internet searches for now, focus on meeting with a counselor and see what the testing results really say.

I'm still so sad and angry though that this happened in the first place.  Having to meet with the counselor makes it feel even more real when I'm having a hard time accepting what has happened.

I keep trying to remind myself that about 30% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. While this was our first, it doesn't necessarily mean we won't ever go on to have a healthy baby.  Most miscarriages are due to a chromosomal abnormality and most are never even sent for genetic analysis, so we have information that many couples would not get, or wouldn't get unless they had several miscarriages.  I know I should be grateful for this information and the option to meet with a counselor after our first loss, but actually feeling that way is easier said than done.

Robertsonian Translocation

Yesterday afternoon my OB called to let me know that the labs from my miscarriage tissue are back and the results show a chromosomal abnormality called Robertsonian Translocation.  She also advised  my husband and I to meet with a genetic counselor, and that we may need to undergo genetic testing to see if we are "normal".

Immediately, I panicked.  Hearing the words "genetic counselor" scared the life out of me, and I called my husband in tears.  We both quickly did some Google searches, which caused only more fear and confusion for me.  I frantically checked baby blogs and message boards, searching for information and any bits of hope I could find.  I know it doesn't help to think of worst case scenarios but that's all that's been running through my head.  I'm petrified that I'll never have a successful pregnancy and desperate for info that points to the contrary.  The problem is, I don't even know what I'm looking for just yet.  There are apparently balanced and unbalanced translocations (I'm not sure which one was discovered in this case), and any prognosis about future pregnancies depends on whether my husband or I are carriers.  I am assuming this is why the counseling was recommended.

I guess it is possible that it was a random error, and I guess that's what I'm hoping for; however, the fact that my OB referred me for genetic counseling makes me nervous because when I initially brought the tissue sample in to be tested, the doctor said most times the chromosomal abnormalities are not indicative of any issue and testing is not typically needed until 2-3 miscarriages or over age 35. But this was my first miscarriage and I'm only 32?!  My OB did not get into details on the phone yesterday besides mentioning the presence of Robertsonian Translocation abnormality when she called, so I don't know if she has any additional information she didn't share with me that has caused enough concern for her to refer me to a genetic counselor for testing, or whether such a referral is routine for such abnormalities.

Although I am scared to death to find out whether the translocation was a random error during cell division or whether it was inherited (i.e., we are carriers) and therefore will affect any future pregnancies, I know I should want this information.  Knowledge is power, right?  The problem is... more information is not going to change the fact that I am desperate to get pregnant again and birth a healthy baby.  What if this wasn't a fluke and we are carriers?  What if we discover that our chance of having a healthy baby is low?  Is that something I will be able to handle emotionally?  Honestly, I'm not sure I can.

I feel like this is a never-ending nightmare that is only getting worse instead of better with time.

I know there is nothing I can do right now but wait to meet with the counselor, and see whether genetic testing is necessary, but the waiting is killing me (and it's only been a day).  For now, I am going to stop searching the internet and baby chat boards for info, and try to keep an open mind until we meet with the counselor next Thursday. I guess the best case scenario would be for this translocation to have been a fluke mutation during cell division and not genetically inherited from my husband or me, so I will hope and pray for that outcome.