It's a . . .

. . . GIRL!!!!!!

Emily Genevieve made her debut on Thursday, May 22, 2014 @ 3:50 pm.  Weighing in at 7 pounds, 10.6 ounces, and 20 inches long, she is absolutely beautiful {though we may be biased}.

Mom, Dad & Emily arrived home from the hospital yesterday and are working on getting to know each other.  More updates and photos when we get the chance!!!!

Gender Reveal

We're at 32 weeks gestation, we still have a TON to do in order to prep for baby's arrival, and to be honest not knowing the sex of the baby has made things a bit more challenging than we predicted in terms of planning.  The clock is ticking down, and Shep and I simply couldn't handle the suspense any longer, so we decided to find out the sex of our baby after all!

Source

It's a . . .

APRIL FOOL'S!!  :)

Did I get you?!  Even for a second???

We still don't know what we're having, but according to the very scientific {not at all} Baby Hunch poll we're running, the slight majority of people think we're having a boy.  We'll see how accurate our poll participants' intuition is in about 8 weeks, give or take!  ;)  Feel free to throw your guess in there if you'd like too!

It was a . . .

Back in the summer when we underwent genetic testing and met with a counselor to determine the specific chromosomal abnormalities that caused our miscarriage, I asked the counselor if the tests showed the sex of our lost fetus.  She indicated that information was available, and at our request sent us a copy of the results in a sealed envelope, in case we ever wanted to know that information.  At the time we received it, Hubby didn't want to open it.  I knew I wanted to know one day, but at that point my heart was still in a million broken pieces, so I wasn't sure the timing was right either.  So, we've kept the sealed envelope in a drawer, close at hand.

From time to time I'd think of the envelope, and at one point later in the summer I decided that I'd like to open the envelope around the time our baby was due, December 25th.  We were upstate with family for Christmas Eve & Christmas Day, so that timing wasn't appropriate -- I wanted to unseal the information in private.  I also didn't know how I'd react.  But, over the past couple weeks I made up my mind that I wanted to open it before the year ended.  I know there are so many things I have in my life to be thankful for, and I want to make a conscious effort to focus on those in 2014.  I thought by opening the envelope before the year ended, I could try to bring some closure to the situation, and try not to focus so hard on what we've lost.

* * *

Back in May, even before I miscarried, I had a strong feeling that our baby was a girl.  I can't recall what initially led me to believe I'd soon be carrying a bundle of pink in my arms, but I think it was a random dream.  Then, when we vacationed in the Dominican Republic for our anniversary and received a little parting gift from our hotel of a faceless girl figurine, my feelings became stronger.  When I first saw that little faceless girl, I was convinced it symbolized the baby growing inside of me.  And, after our miscarriage when I came home and saw the little faceless girl in a blue dress and hat, I just knew she represented the baby we'd never meet.

* * *

Well, it turns out I was completely wrong.  The little baby we lost back in June was a boy.  Our lost boy.  I'll never forget him, and always wonder what he could have grown up to be.  But the truth is, I'll never know.

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My Little Angel

I never got to hold you,

Or kiss your little head

Or watch you sleeping soundly,

All snuggled in your bed.

I can't count your tiny fingers,

Or you even smaller toes

I won't see your smile,

Or your cute little button nose.

I know you are in heaven,

Where there is no pain or tears.

You'll never get hurt or sick,

In heaven there are no fears

And though I'm sad you're not here right now

For us to hold today

I know we'll hold you in our arms

When we're in heaven with you someday

© April Westlake

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Obviously a part of me is still very sad, and I am sure I'll always wish for my angel baby.  But I am also grateful to have found out this information.  I have no idea why, but knowing this little tidbit of information, although it doesn't change a thing really, has brought me a tiny bit of closure.

Team Blue or Team Pink?

One of the first things almost every person has asked when they found out we're expecting, after "When are you due?" is...

"Are you going to find out early whether 
you're having a boy or a girl?"

And the answer is..... nope!  We're going to wait until the delivery to be surprised!

A lot of people have found our response surprising!  Especially in this day and age, when almost everyone I know finds out as soon as possible, I get it's a bit unusual that we're choosing to wait it out.  One of my favorite replies was from a co-worker who proclaimed:  "You?!  Preparation Patty??  You're not going to find out???"  I got a real kick out of that.  I'll be one of the first to admit it -- there is a part of me that is very organized, detail-oriented to a fault, and possibly a bit of a control freak.

But here's the thing -- on the flip side there is a HUGE part of me that just loooooooves surprises.  I mean L.O.V.E.S.!!!  I was disappointed when I thought I'd figured out when and where my "surprise" bridal shower was {though oddly still was surprised when I walked in and saw all those people smiling at me -- even though my hunch was right!}.  A few years ago when I accidentally stumbled upon an unwrapped Christmas gift hubby had hidden from me, when looking for an extra blanket in November, I almost cried and got so mad at myself!  I'm the kind of person who keeps a wrapped gift box containing a piece of jewelry in my nightstand drawer for 6 months.  Yep, you read that correctly.  For our anniversary in May, Hubby bought me 2 gifts, which I thought was too much, so I only opened one of them and said I'd save the second gift for another time.  A couple weeks and then months passed and I told him not to get me anything for my birthday, and that I'd open the second box then.  Well, my birthday came and Hubby had bought me something else, so I decided to wait until Christmas to open it.  Yes -- I voluntarily have decided not to open a whit bow-tied little blue Tiffany box, just because I love the suspense and thrill of knowing I have a forthcoming surprise!

So, although I'm absolutely curious to know whether we'll soon be parents to a baby boy or baby girl, for now we're staying Team Green, ladies and gentlemen!!!

At least that's the current plan.  At 17.5 weeks we still have a little time to change our minds, but I don't think I'm going to change mine.  Hubby originally said he wanted to find out, and threatened to bribe the ultrasound tech to tell him without me knowing!  There's no way that he could keep that secret from me though, so that plan is not going to work.  ;)  While I'd certainly be willing to be convinced to see his side of things -- this is his kid too! -- when I pressed him to share with me any good arguments he had why we should find out the baby's sex before the birth, he didn't really have anything convincing {sorry, Hubby!}.  He said he was 50% sure he wanted to find out early but I'm about 90% sure I want to wait, so I think the math works out in my favor for the moment...

I recently saw a post on a message board, advising a mom who was asking whether she should find out her baby's gender, that said:  Do you shake wrapped presents? If no, stay team green.

That seems like very fitting advice for me!  ;)  Team Green we are!