Positive News

First of all, I'm sorry I've been MIA for the past few weeks.  The reason is because I've been hesitant to actually write this down anywhere.  I've only said it out loud a couple times.  But they say a picture is worth a thousand words so here goes . . .

I'm pregnant!

I'm so very happy we have a second chance at a miracle, and I'm really trying to think positive thoughts.  But if I'm being honest, the truth is I'm also incredibly scared.  I'm definitely more nervous this time around than I was last time because I know how seemingly harmless statistics can turn against you in the blink of an eye.  But when it comes down to it, my desire to create a family with my loving husband exceeds the fear I feel of failing again.  So, like the adorable Natalie who was scared to start kindergarten but proclaimed nonetheless: "I'll be bwave."  I will be brave.  It's as simple as that.

Source

To My Fellow Miscarriage/Loss Readers:  I know you have suffered and faced your own pregnancy losses, and I hope this news doesn't hurt you in any way.  Please know that I am so grateful for all your support thus far, and am hoping with all I have that each and every one of you gets your own happy news and healthy baby to take home very soon!

First Ultrasound

Today was our first ultrasound! I was pretty nervous but glad that the Mr. was there with me. I hopped up on the table, the tech rubbed some cold jelly on my belly and moved the wand around. She couldn’t pick anything up that way (which I knew in my head was pretty common this early, though I still got more nervous...) so tried it the “other” way. The screen showed some black and white shapes, and I saw what looked like 2 circles. For a second I thought that might mean 2 babies and for the first time I think I understood what it must’ve felt like for Jen when she found out she was having twins! (I still remember the day she called me with the news -- I shrieked and jumped out of my desk at work with excitement and she seemed shell-shocked.) To make things more suspenseful the tech asked “Do you see what I see?” and I had no idea what that meant or if that was her way of hinting there might be more than one baby!!! I guess the Mr.'s jokes over the past couple years about me having triplets got to me! I replied, “I don’t know - what do you see?” and she pointed out the fetus. It turns out the other circle I saw was the yolk sac -- phew! ;) The heartbeat was 141 beats (which is good -- the optimal pace is between 120-160, so we’re right in the middle!) and the length measured 7w2d. That’s 5 days smaller than we thought (I thought today was the start of my 8th week) but with measurements that small I guess it’s hard to be precisely accurate to the day. The tech assured us that a 5 day discrepancy was nothing to be alarmed at.

We went home with 2 photos for us, and 1 for each of the moms! We are going to put one in each of their cards for this weekend’s mother’s day surprise.   :)

Unfortunately, there was some kind of scheduling snafu and so I didn’t get to meet with the doctor today, but we scheduled my “first OB appt” for Tuesday afternoon.